Too many scandals, too many years of Clinton fatigue, and now, after the latest email revelations, just too many lies chasing her like Van Helsing on Dracula.
But The Donald lies too — and he’s killing it, right?
You bet. Just don’t place that bet at Trump’s Taj Mahal, which he doesn't even own.
So yes, the two presumptive candidates (well, he no longer needs to presume) lie like cheap rugs.
The difference is that Hillary lies and sticks to it, and Donald lies and gets away with it.
Clinton squeaks by Trump in some polls, he squeaks by her in others, while Sanders beats Trump by 50.5 to 39.5, according to Real Clear Politics average of the polls.
What’s more than real clear is that people love the reality of Sanders and the bluntness of the ex-reality star, but just can’t warm to the unreality of Hillary.
If the Dems didn’t have such a giant death wish, coupled with fear of the Clinton machine, the party leaders would force her to drop out.
The Clintons know how to lie their way out: He’s sick, she’s sick, the dog ate her email server, their immediate presence is needed on Wall Street, one of his old girlfriends fell off her walker, whatever.
Hillary’s latest disastrous email dishonesty would not be such a big deal but Americans are exhausted by decades of dishonesty. Yes, other secretaries of state have used private email addresses — they just didn’t have private email servers on their property. Huge difference.
That being said, U.S. government email servers didn’t turn out any safer than Hillary’s homegrown one. Last year the fingerprints and personal info of tens of millions of federal employees were stolen.
Clinton’s server issues aside, the Justice Department’s investigation of their pal Va. Gov. Terry McAuliffe, former head of the Democratic National Committee, is lurking like the Zika virus, threatening to bring the Clinton Foundation’s hazy doings out into the ugly bright light of day.
McAuliffe is being investigated for his ties to Chinese businessman Wang Wenliang, whom he invited to the Clintons’ house for a fund-raiser in 2013. Shortly thereafter Wang’s company pledged a whopping $2 million to the Clinton Foundation.
Last year, The International Business Times reported that, as secretary of state, Hillary Clinton cleared arms deals with 20 foreign countries (worth $165 billion) who also donated millions to the Clinton Foundation.
But hey, what’s a couple of bucks, bullets and brokered deals between friends and Emirates?
Everything is edgy but nothing is illegal, but it’s clouding her path, which was supposed to be clear sailing to the convention. Now Clinton’s wheels, deals and lies make the shady art of Trump’s deals look like no big deal, even though his rallies look like riots.
BIEBER’S FLAG OF IDIOCY
Justin bratso Bieber proved once again how truly useless he is by tossing a fan’s gift of a little Argentine flag out of the window of his limo in New York City, causing both beliebers and non-beliebers to go berserkers in equal measure.
Count me in!
No, not because it’s the second time the brat’s shown tremendous disrespect for the Argentine flag.
It’s also because once again he’s shown himself to be a low-rent high-roller who has nothing but disdain for anyone who isn’t, well, him.
This time he dissed not just Argentina, but the nearly 9 million people who live in NYC.
Throwing anything — from a gift to garbage — out the window shows such a deep level of stupidity and lack of respect for others it’s breathtaking.
Trash should at least respect trash.
CHANGES A ‘SNAP’
Snapchat is red in the face because their software turns brown people white.
OK, that got your attention.
In fact, Snapchat’s beauty “filters” can lighten skin, turn Asian eyes round, and make white people look like Bob Marley. Hell, the filters can also slim you down and make your skin appear flawless.
This is different from Photoshop — how?
Actually, the filters do what humans and the Kardashians have always done. Do you think in real life Kim has an 11-inch waist and a 63-inch butt? She wouldn’t be able to stand upright!
Even Michelangelo did it. On the Sistine Chapel, Adam looks like naked Chris Hemsworth, not Woody Allen, for God’s sake. Literally. Painting was Renaissance Snapchat.
Amber Heard filed for both a restraining order and a divorce from her husband, Johnny Depp,
PHONE-Y EXCUSE, JOHNNY
Amber Heard filed for both a restraining order and a divorce from her irate pir-ATE husband, Johnny Depp.
The action was instigated after the act-TOR went on a stoned-and-drunken rampage at their L.A. condo last Saturday night. The bloated pirate of the Caribbean allegedly hurled a phone at the face of his wife of 15 months.
When cops arrived, they found Heard — Depp had already beat it, so to speak — all banged up. She compared what Depps--t had done to her with his phone to winding up and hurling a fast ball at her head.
Depp then issued a statement in the third person like the Pope: “Given the brevity of this marriage and the most recent and tragic loss of his mother, Johnny will not respond to any of the salacious false stories, gossip, misinformation and lies about his personal life.”
That makes sense. Who doesn’t beat his wife with a phone when his mother dies?
Arr! Clap this bilge rat in irons, matey.
FRANCO FLUNKS SPELLING TEST
James Franco is remaking the worst Lifetime movie of our lifetime — actually everyone’s lifetime: Tori Spelling’s so-terrible-I-can-watch-it-everyday “Mother, May I Sleep with Danger?”
Twenty years ago, Spelling played a good girl dating a bad boy, now she’s playing a mom whose daughter is dating a bad girl. Hey, it’s 2016. More importantly, her daughter’s not just dating any run-from-the-mill lesbian, she’s dating a lesbian vampire.
Reportedly, Franco’s in big Hollywood trouble for ignoring SAG’s diversity guidelines. Not one genuine lesbian vampire was cast in the film.
The Worst Defense is a Bad Offense: “The Shield” actor Michael Jace’s excuse to cops when they arrested him for shooting his wife? He just wanted to wound her, not kill her.
... The Worse Defense is Offensive At Best: Rapper Troy Ave shot himself in the leg while allegedly shooting another man, Ronald McPhatter, to death and wounding two others at Irving Plaza, where they’d gathered for a concert. Meantime, crazily, it was NYPD Commish Bill Bratton who took heat for calling rappers carrying heat “thugs.” As opposed to what? Armed pacifists?
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