None of us are ever completely unbiased, ever.
Or did President Trump unearth, or if you prefer unveil, what has been lurking beneath the surface for a long time?
My simple answer is yes! Trump is the catalyst but he is not the problem. He clearly played on all our fears.
Let me explain what I have been seeing, hearing, and observing since the early 1980s, both in North America and in Europe.
As a teenager, I did not know which side of the ocean I wanted to settle, so basically I have been back and forth over several decades, which gives me a unique perspective as an outsider looking in.
To go back even a bit further, due to the luck of the draw — born Muslim, raised Catholic; from an orphanage in Pakistan to a Dutch family — I have a unique perspective on how biases hinder and harm, and therefore I may truly be the closest to an unbiased person you will ever meet.
As an adoptee, from the moment I set foot in the West at the age of three, I have been called an immigrant. To a certain extent, I am proud of the term and on the other hand, I'd like to belong.
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To me, the term "immigrant" is someone who throws caution to the wind and takes the daring step to start over somewhere else. The reasons are not important. The person is courageous enough to believe he or she can do better elsewhere! It’s a person who must go through all the phases of integration.
As a young child growing up in Europe, I instantly picked up on the fear people had due to my skin color. By the way, these were adults. The children just mimicked them. Today, when my hair is in a ponytail some people will try to talk to me in Spanish. With my hair loose, I might look Persian or Indian. But rarely am I mistaken as being Dutch.
One of the great benefits of living in the U.S. as a teenager was that people did not ask nonstop where I came from, like they had in Europe. I became easily transparent in the U.S., one of the crowd
During the late ’80s, I did not feel or see many outward expressions of hatred or bias. We all knew there were a lot of issues but most of it was suppressed, swept under the carpet, so to speak, and I and many others made sure not to rock this delicate boat — because we were the minority.
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I have noticed that when the economy is doing well, nobody cares about the foreigners or immigrants. Truly nobody!
However, when there was high unemployment, people became upset. In times like that there would be small flareups, but nothing too serious.
And then 9/11 happened, which had a huge ripple effect that we are still feeling today.
So let's talk post-9/11 to better understand what is happening today post-election 2016.
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Post-9/11, we were taught to question our neighbors. Suddenly, they, too, could be the enemy. I was in the Netherlands when 9/11 occurred and within days, I personally got my first backlash about Muslims because of my ethnicity. I was floored because my clients were scared of the possibility that I might be Muslim.
At that time, I defended myself by saying I was adopted and Catholic. But I soon realized you cannot defend yourself against another person's bias. That is a lost cause.
Today, post-election and with Trump in the White House, we hear and see stories. Each leaves us with an ache, with a pause, as we seem unable to believe or comprehend that this would happen right here in America.
Students chanting on a video that went viral, "Build that wall! Images floating about on social media of graffiti with swastikas.
Is racism and hatred truly on the rise? It is not on the rise. It has been exposed by this election.
This election is showing us that tolerance does not work. What most of us do not seem to understand is that tolerance is not the opposite of intolerance.
Tolerance is truly only a very polite way of being intolerant. Wouldn't you agree?
All the grievances of the American people are out in the open now. What are we going to do about them? Can we sweep it back under the carpet? Can we erase our fears? If you are an immigrant, a member of an ethnic minority, or part of the LGBTQ+ community — or anyone who feels marginalized — is it feasible that everyone takes responsibility and learns to communicate and address the real concerns of tolerance and what exactly has not been working.
I hope when you read this article to have evoked your thoughts. Rather than trying to understand and search for solutions on these sensitive issues, it is easier to be reactive. It is heartbreaking to see some people behave in a reactive way.
For example, I quote from another article I read: "Hey, you will see when Trump starts his term, you all will be OUT."
What does that even mean?
Don't forget that when you see someone who looks like a foreigner or immigrant, chances are they lived most of their life in the U.S., and may well be citizens.
We now have a unique opportunity to finally stand up and have our voices be heard. This is our time!
We bow when we feel like an outcast. We have often preferred the silence, the safety of pretending it will go away.
But we are actually no longer the minority; this is not about Asians, African Americans, or even Hispanics. It's about all of us together, as we know what it feels like to be marginalized, and that's why today we can have hope!
Because there is strength in numbers.
We have a historic moment where dialogue is finally possible post-election instead of sweeping it back under the rug.
Gabriella van Rij (www.gabriella.global) is a speaker, author and activist whose latest book, “Watch Your Delivery,” explores how we often fail in communicating. She began her life as an orphan in Pakistan, and today is a frequent guest on TV and radio. She also is the author of “I Can Find My Might.”
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